Negative thinking has always been my problem. Whenever I hear people talking about something like a gossip, I sometimes I think it was me they're talking about. I'm insecure. I get it. Or am I a psycho? Oh my God.
I recently had this conversation with my friend. I asked her, "Should I be someone new?" She replied asking if something's wrong and why would I want to change if it's good enough to be the same me. I told her that Blair (Gossip Girl's Blair Waldorf) made me realize and/or looking back at the past, I have done bad things. She just told me this:
“Well, if you have done something bad, you better not do that again. We need to learn from our mistakes. God doesn't want us to do wrong things. So, as early as now, we have to change our wrong doings before it’s too late.”
What's the connection of the body to the title? Well, this is why I asked her that question. Some of my friends knew about the "thing" about my ex best friend. And I know that I have made a mistake that ruined our friendship. I don't want to do that again. Gossiping is one of my bad attitudes. But, who can't resist gossips? I mean, even the Upper East Siders know THAT. I really love Gossip Girl and my friends are totally in full support. But the characters really grew on to me especially Blair Waldorf; the scheming, plotting, manipulative protagonist of the TV Show. I think I have that "Blair Waldorf-side" engraved on me. It wants to take revenge on the people who have left a scar in my life and in my heart; the ones who left my life in the hard way - The reasons why I have become like this. They say, "You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you." I always think of how I will do that when I'm known to be vulnerable.
The things that really comes to my mind whenever I have these negative thinking are "Am I really wanted?" , "maybe he/she/they don't want me as company.." , "maybe they just don't tell me so they can't hurt me..." and many other things.
I decided to post this because one of my friends *slash* my KPop Best Friend always asks me of what I'm thinking about whenever I over think.
credits: Clara Quiambao (@ohteenquotes @claraquiambao) for the editing haha :)
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